i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Cover your peen. We're going out.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
