So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
