It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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