The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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