Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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