she was so not down for the gang bang
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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