3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
