I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
