I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
