Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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