it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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