hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
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I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
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He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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