No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
