He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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