saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize