Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
