I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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