the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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