Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
There's always time for handjobs
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
