he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
