Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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