It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
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Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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