I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
