You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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