; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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