My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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