Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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