East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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