my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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