I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
