It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
