this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Every concussion has its silver lining
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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