if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
