I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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