That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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