I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
