and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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