Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
