yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize