In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
