I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
