i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
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We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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