so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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