Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
