If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
