I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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