eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
