you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
