I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
