The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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