I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
