I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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