i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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