this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
