Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
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Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
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I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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