no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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