Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
handjob tips. give me some.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
