just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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