Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
