I didn't shave. On purpose
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
