put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
