I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
