Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
