She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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