Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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