69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
