he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
