I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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