She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
