one word: firstdatebathroomanal
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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