Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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