also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
